To say I have neglected my blog would be a HUGE understatement. It has not been for lack of things to say, necessarily. Maybe a little laziness. Maybe a little insecurity about the new direction I want my blog to take, but not feeling adequate to write about such things. I'm not sure really. But I'm back!
I have been going through a hard/weird time lately and am trying to find myself and my passions again.
Some of the more difficult things in my life right now are: Justin and I are on our 7 month of trying to have another baby, I feel like I'm just "living life" and not really passionate about much, I feel very distant from my close girlfriends, Justin and I are in the process of switching churches, so leaving our old church has been hard along with trying to integrate into the new church, we are living with my parents (which has been going wonderfully!!), but I yearn to have our own place again and am looking for places to rent that are in our budget (not an easy task!), and my lack of time management screams failure at me daily (although I am SLOWLY getting better).
Some great things in my life are: My marriage is going great and I feel like Justin and I are connecting, Chloe continues to be a joy and I thank God for her every day (I don't know how first time moms deal with struggling to get pregnant!), and I am in the beginning stages of becoming a doula (a birth coach/assistant).
I am working through some of the "crappy" stuff and trying to figure out practical ways to make each of the areas better.
I promise to be posting on here more and not wait another 2 months for the next entry! YIKES!
PS. I also updated pictures on Chloe's blog as well (chloeannsmith.blogspot.com).
Monday, February 16, 2009
Friday, December 5, 2008
Proverbs 31
I have started, deleted, and restarted this post several times. I feel so inadequate with words sometimes. I don't feel I'm a good writer. So, when I try to write things that are in my HEART, the words just have a hard time coming out.
God is moving in my heart. He is tugging. He is showing me so much. I love Him more than I ever knew. I need Him more than I ever let myself realize. I am slowly giving up control.
The mission God has sent me on recently is to become a beautiful version of the Proverbs 31 woman. Of course I have read this chapter of the bible lots of times, have heard it preached on, etc. Honestly, I don't think anyone in my life has revealed the chapter to me as God intended.
In my life I have come to notice that the Proverbs 31 woman does not get enough credit. Some have told me that she is not really one woman, but many woman, so that I may pick and choose which aspects I want to live out. Others have said that she is just absolutely not attainable, so to try my best, but its just not reality to live out all she did. In all honesty, I think both of those explanations short change God (although I believed them for so long) and don't allow Him to work in a woman how I know He can.
Here is a descriptions of the Proverbs 31 woman I recently came across and I like it because it gives me an easier understanding of who she is.
She is up before dawn.
She has her own garden,
She makes clothes for herself and her family.
She owns and runs her own business.
She is a wonderful homemaker.
Her husband praises her.
Her children adore her.
She is intelligent.
She takes care of the physical needs of her family.
She speaks with wisdom.
She helps others.
She is in shape--physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
She fears God.
God is calling me to be this woman. I know that by being the virtuous woman God calls me to be, I will be experiencing the glories of the life He wants for me. And there can't be anything better. I know I CAN become the ideal woman--not because of what I can do, but because of who He is.
God is revealing practical ways of living out His plan. I do believe that is the direction this blog is going. I want this to be a place where I can travel the journey of becoming a better woman. A place to document what I am learning. A place to "keep it real" about all my successes and failures in this journey.
About a month ago I began reading the book The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. I HIGHLY recommend it for any woman with children or thinking about having children. After each chapter she has some things to try to help you move in the direction of becoming a better wife, mother, woman. I am going to start again at Chapter 1 of the book and post my thoughts and reflections on each Chapter and on the practical applications that I am trying.
Since this blog is going in a little bit different direction, I have made a new blog just for Chloe. I have moved some of the posts from this blog and I will posting anything new about her on that one. Its address is: chloeannsmith.blogspot.com. See ya there!
God is moving in my heart. He is tugging. He is showing me so much. I love Him more than I ever knew. I need Him more than I ever let myself realize. I am slowly giving up control.
The mission God has sent me on recently is to become a beautiful version of the Proverbs 31 woman. Of course I have read this chapter of the bible lots of times, have heard it preached on, etc. Honestly, I don't think anyone in my life has revealed the chapter to me as God intended.
In my life I have come to notice that the Proverbs 31 woman does not get enough credit. Some have told me that she is not really one woman, but many woman, so that I may pick and choose which aspects I want to live out. Others have said that she is just absolutely not attainable, so to try my best, but its just not reality to live out all she did. In all honesty, I think both of those explanations short change God (although I believed them for so long) and don't allow Him to work in a woman how I know He can.
Here is a descriptions of the Proverbs 31 woman I recently came across and I like it because it gives me an easier understanding of who she is.
She is up before dawn.
She has her own garden,
She makes clothes for herself and her family.
She owns and runs her own business.
She is a wonderful homemaker.
Her husband praises her.
Her children adore her.
She is intelligent.
She takes care of the physical needs of her family.
She speaks with wisdom.
She helps others.
She is in shape--physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
She fears God.
God is calling me to be this woman. I know that by being the virtuous woman God calls me to be, I will be experiencing the glories of the life He wants for me. And there can't be anything better. I know I CAN become the ideal woman--not because of what I can do, but because of who He is.
God is revealing practical ways of living out His plan. I do believe that is the direction this blog is going. I want this to be a place where I can travel the journey of becoming a better woman. A place to document what I am learning. A place to "keep it real" about all my successes and failures in this journey.
About a month ago I began reading the book The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. I HIGHLY recommend it for any woman with children or thinking about having children. After each chapter she has some things to try to help you move in the direction of becoming a better wife, mother, woman. I am going to start again at Chapter 1 of the book and post my thoughts and reflections on each Chapter and on the practical applications that I am trying.
Since this blog is going in a little bit different direction, I have made a new blog just for Chloe. I have moved some of the posts from this blog and I will posting anything new about her on that one. Its address is: chloeannsmith.blogspot.com. See ya there!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
My Addiction Became A Blessing
Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I have been really wanting to post about what God has been doing, but I often don't have the words to fully describe exactly what I want to get across. So I'm just going to try my best :)
Hi. My name is Ashleigh and I'm addicted to blogs. I check several of them daily. Sometimes I check them multiple times a day for updates. Did I just admit that?
A couple of months back, I began reading a blog by Angie Smith. She is the wife of Todd Smith, who is the lead singer of the group Selah. At 20 weeks pregnant she was told that her baby would not live outside the womb and that she should terminate. She and her husband decided that God created their baby's life for a reason and that Angie would carry her to term and pray for a miracle. The Smith's baby, Audrey, lived for 2 1/2 hours outside of the womb and was then taken to heaven. I came into the story late, Audrey had already been born, but I started from the beginning of the story/blog. I knew the ending from the pictures on her page, but I found myself so wrapped up in each blog entry that it was like everything was happening as I was reading it. I would sit down with my computer and a blanket and let Angie's words wash over me. It was truly as if God was speaking to me. Angie's faith is unwavering. Her words were the most encouraging/challenging I have heard or read in I don't know how long. Maybe forever. Although they weren't her words. They were God's.
As I was reading, God kept whispering to me how much He loves His people. How much He wants to have a real, intimate, powerful relationship with me. I didn't feel condemnation for my lack of faith/walk with God the past few years, but I felt a yearning. A longing to just spend time with Him. I just want nothing more than to let Him be the ruler of my life. So, for the past few weeks, I have really been trying to seek Him and spend more time with Him. I'm not perfect and our relationship is strained, but I know He is in this with me and I know He is ready to take over my heart, thoughts, and actions and I'm so very ready to let him.
Angie Smith has been a vessel of God and oh, how I give Him thanks for her!
Through all of this, God has really been showing me my mission/purpose. It is something he placed inside of me (and I beleive, every woman) long ago. More to come on that.... :)
Hi. My name is Ashleigh and I'm addicted to blogs. I check several of them daily. Sometimes I check them multiple times a day for updates. Did I just admit that?
A couple of months back, I began reading a blog by Angie Smith. She is the wife of Todd Smith, who is the lead singer of the group Selah. At 20 weeks pregnant she was told that her baby would not live outside the womb and that she should terminate. She and her husband decided that God created their baby's life for a reason and that Angie would carry her to term and pray for a miracle. The Smith's baby, Audrey, lived for 2 1/2 hours outside of the womb and was then taken to heaven. I came into the story late, Audrey had already been born, but I started from the beginning of the story/blog. I knew the ending from the pictures on her page, but I found myself so wrapped up in each blog entry that it was like everything was happening as I was reading it. I would sit down with my computer and a blanket and let Angie's words wash over me. It was truly as if God was speaking to me. Angie's faith is unwavering. Her words were the most encouraging/challenging I have heard or read in I don't know how long. Maybe forever. Although they weren't her words. They were God's.
As I was reading, God kept whispering to me how much He loves His people. How much He wants to have a real, intimate, powerful relationship with me. I didn't feel condemnation for my lack of faith/walk with God the past few years, but I felt a yearning. A longing to just spend time with Him. I just want nothing more than to let Him be the ruler of my life. So, for the past few weeks, I have really been trying to seek Him and spend more time with Him. I'm not perfect and our relationship is strained, but I know He is in this with me and I know He is ready to take over my heart, thoughts, and actions and I'm so very ready to let him.
Angie Smith has been a vessel of God and oh, how I give Him thanks for her!
Through all of this, God has really been showing me my mission/purpose. It is something he placed inside of me (and I beleive, every woman) long ago. More to come on that.... :)
Saturday, November 1, 2008
The Best Halloween of My Life
I may be a little biased, but I'm pretty sure I have the most precious child in the world. Halloween this year was so much fun! The fun Chloe had this year was more than I would have imagined. My original plan was for her to be a skunk. Justin and I saw the skunk costume at Old Navy about a month and a half before Halloween. I figured I would look around a little more just to make sure that was the one I wanted. Well, I came back about a month later and it was gone (as were all the skunk costumes at the surrounding Old Navy's). So, I kept holding off thinking I would find a costume I would fall in love with. I didn't. Last minute, on Wednesday, we went to get her a costume. We came across a Goldilocks. I thought it was cute, but it wasn't my favorite ever. Until.....
I put it on her. I mean seriously, could she be any cuter?
The even better part was that she loved her costume. She begged me to let her put it on all day on Friday. She loved her bears. She loved her ribbons. She was quite the girly girl. As you can see, we also found an Elmo basket, which she adored as well.
Justin's work had a party for the kids, so that was our first stop.
She was a pro from the start!
I was so proud of her because she told every candy-giver thank you without any prompting.
We made a few stops to some family and friends. Chloe enjoyed seeing Jake Aviles as the Great Pumpkin and Lily Murray as a peacock. They were just adorable in their costumes as well.
Lastly, we trick or treated around our neighborhood.
I kept asking Chloe, "Do you want to go home or do you want to keep trick or treating?"
Of course, she said, "Trick or!"
I can confidently say this was the best Halloween I have ever had.
And judging from this picture, it may have been Chloe's too:
I put it on her. I mean seriously, could she be any cuter?
The even better part was that she loved her costume. She begged me to let her put it on all day on Friday. She loved her bears. She loved her ribbons. She was quite the girly girl. As you can see, we also found an Elmo basket, which she adored as well.
Justin's work had a party for the kids, so that was our first stop.
She was a pro from the start!
I was so proud of her because she told every candy-giver thank you without any prompting.
We made a few stops to some family and friends. Chloe enjoyed seeing Jake Aviles as the Great Pumpkin and Lily Murray as a peacock. They were just adorable in their costumes as well.
Lastly, we trick or treated around our neighborhood.
I kept asking Chloe, "Do you want to go home or do you want to keep trick or treating?"
Of course, she said, "Trick or!"
I can confidently say this was the best Halloween I have ever had.
And judging from this picture, it may have been Chloe's too:
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Mommy has a new baby!
Sunday was my birthday. It was pretty low-key. We had a pot-luck at church for our pastor because his birthday is this week....but secretly, my family was actually using it for MY birthday lunch (sneaky, huh?). One of my mom's friends loves to take pictures and she came up to us and asked us to get together for a family picture.
As I was looking into her camera, I realized she had the camera that I have been wanting and saving up for for months. I asked her if it was new and she said, "Yeah, but I haven't really figured out how to view the pictures...can you show me?" Of course I said yes because 1) I just wanted to touch it and 2) I knew how to view the pictures.
So, I show her how and scroll through and this is what I see:
THE CAMERA WAS MINE!!! They seriously fooled me and I was so excited!
Here's a picture of my new baby:
ln fact, Justin told Chloe "Mommy has a new baby now" - lol!
Be on the lookout for lots of new pictures here! :)
As I was looking into her camera, I realized she had the camera that I have been wanting and saving up for for months. I asked her if it was new and she said, "Yeah, but I haven't really figured out how to view the pictures...can you show me?" Of course I said yes because 1) I just wanted to touch it and 2) I knew how to view the pictures.
So, I show her how and scroll through and this is what I see:
THE CAMERA WAS MINE!!! They seriously fooled me and I was so excited!
Here's a picture of my new baby:
ln fact, Justin told Chloe "Mommy has a new baby now" - lol!
Be on the lookout for lots of new pictures here! :)
Monday, October 20, 2008
I will hide Your word in my heart
This past weekend I attended a women's retreat that our church put on. It was such a wonderful time of laughter, tears, and renewal. There was a great speaker as well as break-out sessions on different topics. My second breakout session was called, "Teaching your Children the Word of God". It was amazing. The woman who led the class was named Karen Eppler. She has been teaching her grandchildren bible verses through very creative means and I was so encouraged! I can not WAIT to start teaching Chloe the verses and for her to have them hidden in her heart at such an early age. It makes me tear up just thinking about it. Karen's grand-daughter (Miriam), who was probably about 7 or so, was there and recited some of the verses for us. Karen was telling us that Miriam knows about 500 verses - including some complete chapters of the bible. It was so amazing. If you are interested in some of Karen's curriculums you can go here and click on Scripture Memory. She has a picture card and a song that goes with each verse. Here is an example (sorry its fuzzy):
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