My Addiction Became A Blessing

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I have been really wanting to post about what God has been doing, but I often don't have the words to fully describe exactly what I want to get across. So I'm just going to try my best :)

Hi. My name is Ashleigh and I'm addicted to blogs. I check several of them daily. Sometimes I check them multiple times a day for updates. Did I just admit that?

A couple of months back, I began reading a blog by Angie Smith. She is the wife of Todd Smith, who is the lead singer of the group Selah. At 20 weeks pregnant she was told that her baby would not live outside the womb and that she should terminate. She and her husband decided that God created their baby's life for a reason and that Angie would carry her to term and pray for a miracle. The Smith's baby, Audrey, lived for 2 1/2 hours outside of the womb and was then taken to heaven. I came into the story late, Audrey had already been born, but I started from the beginning of the story/blog. I knew the ending from the pictures on her page, but I found myself so wrapped up in each blog entry that it was like everything was happening as I was reading it. I would sit down with my computer and a blanket and let Angie's words wash over me. It was truly as if God was speaking to me. Angie's faith is unwavering. Her words were the most encouraging/challenging I have heard or read in I don't know how long. Maybe forever. Although they weren't her words. They were God's.

As I was reading, God kept whispering to me how much He loves His people. How much He wants to have a real, intimate, powerful relationship with me. I didn't feel condemnation for my lack of faith/walk with God the past few years, but I felt a yearning. A longing to just spend time with Him. I just want nothing more than to let Him be the ruler of my life. So, for the past few weeks, I have really been trying to seek Him and spend more time with Him. I'm not perfect and our relationship is strained, but I know He is in this with me and I know He is ready to take over my heart, thoughts, and actions and I'm so very ready to let him.

Angie Smith has been a vessel of God and oh, how I give Him thanks for her!

Through all of this, God has really been showing me my mission/purpose. It is something he placed inside of me (and I beleive, every woman) long ago. More to come on that.... :)