Welcome Miss Lydia Hope!

When baby girl’s due date came and went I was really upset. I was getting very uncomfortable and was confused as to why I would have WEEKS of contractions and she still not be here. On Saturday the 12^th, I started having very regular contractions and by the middle of the night they were painful enough that I had to get up out of bed. I went downstairs and sat on the birth ball and timed the contractions. They were about 3-5 minutes apart and 45-60 seconds long. I KNEW this was it! I called Suzanne and told her we probably had a long time (judging from Chloe’s 21 hour birth), but that things were starting. Suzanne, having about a 45 minute drive, decided to come to the house and said that if things took a long time she would just sleep on the couch and if we still had a long time in the morning she would just go shopping – ha! She got to the house and put the tens unit on me and told me to go see if I could rest. I went back up to bed and the contractions completely STOPPED. By morning I was extremely discouraged and feeling like this child was never coming!

The next few days brought more contractions, but nothing to “write home about”. After the false alarm on Saturday night I decided I was not making a big deal of anything until I knew for sure that I was in labor. So, in other words, until I couldn’t really function through contractions. Suzanne told me from the beginning that she thought my labor would be fast and to not “wait too long” to let her know things were happening, but I never believed her that it would be fast since my labor with Chloe was so long and at this point I definitely wasn’t calling in anymore false alarms!

On Tuesday November 15^th, Chloe and I went about our day just like any other. It was gorgeous outside so we spent a lot of time outside. I of course was having contractions all day, but didn’t pay any attention to them. I lost my mucous plug about 3:00 that day and was SO excited because I felt like at least I knew my body was making progress in some ways and Lydia might really actually come!

The next order of events will probably be best told by a timeline. So here goes:

5:00pm: Justin called to say he was on his way home and asked if there was anything I wanted him to pick up for dinner. I told him I really wanted steak and mashed potatoes.

6:00pm: Justin got home and started dinner. Around that same time I began to notice that contractions were getting a little harder, but I still didn’t pay much attention to them.

6:30pm: My contractions were starting to get very uncomfortable and so I decided to time them. Justin was just finishing up dinner and sat down to eat. I told him I wasn’t going to be able to eat as my contractions were getting too hard and I needed to focus through them. I quit timing them about 20 minutes into it because they were getting too intense and I didn’t want to mess with it anymore. As the contractions came I leaned over whatever was close (the couch, bathroom sink, stair railing, etc), rocked my hips and breathed through them. They still weren’t completely unbearable, but they weren’t easy either. I called my mom to let her know that I would probably need Chloe to come over there at some point that night since I thought I was probably in labor now. During the conversation I had to put the phone down to get through one of my contractions. My littlest sister was leaving for volleyball practice and had told my mom to call if she needed to come home. I informed my mom that there was no way we would have a baby by 10pm when Kailey would be home from practice so not to worry about calling her.

7:00pm: I texted our midwife, Suzanne, to let her know that she should probably come to the house since contractions were getting longer, stronger, and closer together; although I thought we still had a lot of time left. She told me to have Justin get the birth tub set up and other supplies out. I also called the birth photographer as well as my friend Andrea who I had asked to be at the birth. As Justin finished eating his dinner he got everything set up.

7:30pm: During labor I need it extremely quiet and at this point Chloe was really starting to get on my nerves so I had my sister take her over to my mom’s house. Once she left I was able to really start focusing on breathing through my contractions and relaxing.

7:45pm: The birth assistant, Nicole, showed up at the house. At this point my contractions were becoming very uncomfortable and I was starting to have a hard time really relaxing. Nicole did counter pressure on my back and it felt SO good!

8:00pm: Suzanne got to the house and made sure everything was set up and ready to go. I had a few contractions and then she suggested I sit on the toilet and she would press on my knees to try to move baby down and see where we were at. I had about 5 contractions on the toilet and they HURT. I was really beginning to think that if this lasted much longer I was not going to be able to do it.

8:30pm: Suzanne could see that I was struggling and so asked if I wanted to get in the water. I thought that sounded great and we moved into the bedroom and I got into the tub. As I got back into the bedroom, I saw that our doula, Kay had arrived. I *very* vaguely remember telling her hello as I was kind of just “in the zone” at that point. As I was squatting down into the water I had an enormous amount of pressure and yelled “I’m pushing!!” and then my water burst. OH RELIEF!! I had about 2 more contractions and then the intense pressure returned. I really was pushing at this point! Suzanne told me to reach down and feel for the baby’s head, but I was so comfortable in the position I was in and did not want to move. I told her I couldn’t do it and that I really didn’t think we were that close anyway. I had one more contraction that I pushed through and she really urged me to feel for the baby’s head in order to help guide her out. I really was not convinced that the baby was coming yet, but felt for her anyway and I felt her head!! I could not believe she was almost here! I was seriously in shock that I was that far along.

8:49pm: I had a couple more contractions and she was HERE!! The pushing part of labor was SO much different this time. With Chloe I was on my back with people telling me when and how to push. This time my body just took over and did it. Seriously. It was somewhat of an out of body experience for me this time. With Chloe I also don’t remember feeling the “ring of fire” that everyone talks about. This time, I definitely felt it! Luckily, baby girl was quick to relieve me of that feeling. She made her entrance first into the water and then into my arms. It was so amazing! Her cord was very short so I wasn’t able to bring her all the way to my chest, but I held her lower in the water and we just gazed at each other. She was so content and alert and barely cried. When Justin came over to meet her he spoke and she immediately turned her head to his voice as if to say, “I hear my daddy!”. It was so sweet.

Miss Lydia Hope was here and we could not have been more excited and in love!!!

The birth was so fast that my mom, my sister (who was sitting on our living room couch), Andrea, and the birth photographer all missed it. I can’t believe how in denial I was the whole time that I was actually in labor and things were progressing. I guess my nonchalant attitude threw everyone off. Luckily our midwife has done this a time or two and knew to get to our house quickly!

Not long after Lydia made her entrance my dad brought Chloe over to meet her new baby sister. They rushed over so quickly that Chloe still had pudding on her face from a snack she was eating at my parent’s house. Haha! Chloe was very unsure about the whole thing and had quite the little meltdown. Her sister didn’t look like her and was bald and she was “so disappointed!!” LOL! I just had to laugh. Chloe slowly came around to her new sister and now loves her very much, although she still thinks she’s boring!

The whole experience was so incredible and having her at home was one of the best decisions we could have made! It was so peaceful and beautiful. I am so grateful to have the amazing midwife I do and felt so safe and well taken care of in her hands.

We waited so long for Lydia and she did not disappoint!! ;)

I will do a post about our time after the birth and of pictures soon!

Oh! And just for the record, I *did* get my steak and mashed potatoes that night and even better: my sister fed them to me! ;)

You can read about our first moments together and a big reason why I chose home birth here: http://lovejoyandlaughter.blogspot.com/2012/02/our-first-moments-together.html

The next few weeks....

To say a lot has happened since the last time I blogged would be a HUGE understatement. Haha!

So, to get caught up:

At 32 weeks, on a Tuesday night, I had a bought of contractions (not painful at all) that were about 2-3 minutes apart and lasted a couple of hours. Of course I never had any contractions prior to Chloe’s labor so I was a little scared and confused about what was going on. I knew in order for them to be “real” labor contractions they needed to get longer, stronger, and closer together, which they weren’t really doing. I called my midwife and she told me to take a bath, drink lots of water and pregnancy tea, lay on my left side, etc. – all things to try to get them to stop. She also called me in a prescription to try to get them to stop. After I talked to her she decided to come to the house and just check things out. Can I just interrupt and say how AWESOME it is to have a midwife that comes to you when something is amiss!! Anyway…the meds got the contractions stopped and I carried on my merry little way….until Thursday when they started again. This time I decided I probably should go to the hospital and get things checked out and make sure these were Braxton-Hicks and not contractions that were causing any dilation. At the hospital everything checked out okay, but I was officially put on bed rest until 37 weeks.

You would think bed rest would be really awesome, but when you have a 4 year old to entertain, and a house to clean, and a family to cook for, it really pretty much sucks! Luckily for me, I have an awesome younger sister who came to stay with us and helped out with all the things I couldn’t do, especially entertaining Chloe.

I came off bed rest at 37 weeks and had lots of contractions pretty much every day – they were very sporadic and usually didn’t hurt at all. We were okay with Lydia making her entrance after this point, so I didn’t really pay much attention to the contractions and figured they were helping prepare her lungs and my body for labor.

At my 38 week appointment my midwife, Suzanne, told me she thought I would be going over my due date and to just enjoy our time until baby was here. I’ll be honest, I was really bummed after that appointment. Having had contractions for so many weeks, I thought for sure Lydia would be here earlier than my due date. I kind of prepared myself that she would be early and when I was told she would likely be “late”, I was a little discouraged.

Fast forward to 40 weeks. 11/11/11. Nothing. Baby girl was holding tight and her momma was getting VERY anxious for her to make her arrival!

28 Weeks!

I can not believe I'm in the third trimester already! The second half of this pregnancy has FLOWN by! It's really so very bittersweet that we're getting closer to end of the pregnancy. On the one hand I'm so incredibly excited to meet Lydia and to have her in my arms. On the other hand, I love being pregnant and feeling her move in my belly. I'm trying to cherish every minute of being pregnant with her!!

Chloe is getting more and more excited by the day to have Lydia here and often says things like, "I wish it would get colder faster so my baby would be here!" She is so sweet and is going to be such an amazing big sister. Seeing the two girls together is something I can not WAIT for!!

Now for the fun pregnancy questions:

How far along: 28 Weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Yeah, this question was still fun when it was like 8lbs...now, let's just say my booty will most likely have it's own zip code when this is all said and done. ;)

Body Changes: I'm pretty much just getting big everywhere. The joys of pregnancy :) One thing Justin and I noticed though is that my belly has gone from really round to sticking straight out. I think it's how baby girl is positioned in there. I'm hoping she's head down or at least headed that way in the next few weeks!!

Sleep: Sleeping is okay. I wake up A LOT to go pee in the middle of the night. I didn't really have to pee more than usual with Chloe so I always thought those women who talked about having to pee were just making it up (lol), but holy cow, this time that is not the case. I have to pee ALL. THE. TIME!!!

Best moment this week: Being able to actually feel her foot poking me from the outside and know what it was!!

Gender: Girl!! :)

Food Cravings/Aversions: I don't really have many cravings or aversions. McDonald's could probably be put in the aversion category.

What I miss: Sleeping on my belly

What I am looking forward to: My midwife appointment on Thursday as well as our little family vacation to St. Louis next weekend!

Milestones: I can tell she's getting bigger in there and have started to very distinctly feel little feet, knees, and elbows poking me. She is extremely active and I LOVE that!! I think she knows her mommy needs the extra reassurance. ;)

Chloe's Summer (so far) in Pictures

A trip to the lake

Royals Game

Playing at the Park

Rockin' her shades

Fishing with Daddy on Father's Day

She got really bored and annoyed that she wasn't catching anything...

Zonked after a long day!

Playgroup trip to Independence to ride the trolley. She LOVED this!

A visit to her best friend Loreli's house

Picnic time!

4th of July at the lake

Fireworks at Poppy and Nanny's. She was*so* good at catching the parachutes! Maybe she will be daddy's little softball player afterall ;)

Playing in the fountains at Zona Rosa

Home Management

My house being organized and clean is so important for my sanity. When everything has a place and everything is in it's place I am so much less stressed and so much nicer to my family! I think I've said before, but I'm a REALLY great planner. I make lists and beautiful plans and then 2 days later it all flies out the window and my house is in shambles and I feel like a failure once again. It's an ugly cycle.

Recently I came across moneysavingmom.com. She is a blogger who posts about great deals as well as lots of great homemaking tips. I have just started using her daily docket and cleaning lists and can I say how AMAZING I feel and what a wonderful state my house is in MOST of the time. It's a miracle really.

Here is the link to her home management forms: http://moneysavingmom.com/downloads/household-management-forms.

I follow her daily docket pretty much exactly and there are just a few changes I made to the cleaning lists for our own house.

I just wanted to pass this info along in case it helps someone else out. I know it has been such a blessing to me!

We're having a GIRL!!!

And her name is.......LYDIA!!! :)

We had our big ultrasound and to my surprise, we're having a girl! I think everyone had me convinced it was a boy, so I really was so surprised!! Justin had guessed a girl and he was right. Chloe had said we were having a boy from the very beginning and I thought her instincts were probably better than mine. haha. Not so apparently! We had her name picked out about a week before our ultrasound. I suddenly realized how much I loved the name Lydia and Justin said he did too. SOLD! :) I think Chloe and Lydia sound so pretty together. It's really fun to call baby by her name. :)

(I feel very wrong posting this picture! haha)

As soon as the ultrasound tech told us it was a girl, Chloe crossed her arms and gave a big scowl. She was definitely not a happy camper. It took her about 5 minutes to get excited about "playing babies and dancing in dresses" with her little sister. She is now so excited for a baby sister and is honestly going to be the best big sister in the world. She already loves her little sister so much!

I'm already daydreaming about all the fun they will have together. I have 2 sisters, so I know how special a sister relationship is and I can't wait to see it unfold :)

Here is my 20 week picture:



And a few more of our sweet little one:





She is moving around a TON. Pretty much anytime I slow down she makes her presence known. :) And it's so fun to feel her and know she's doing so well in there!

It still takes my breath away that God has blessed us with this new little life. He has been so good to us. I am so incredibly thankful!!

We have decided to use cloth diapers with this little babe. When I had Chloe the thought of cloth diapers was insane to me. I honestly didn't know, though, how easy and wonderful they really are! We (I say "we" VERY lightly because really it was me! lol) made this decision for several reasons: Cost (while the upfront cost is more, we will be saving upwards of $1500-2000 by choosing cloth); while I'm not really what I would call a "green-living" person, it really did bother me to throw away SO MANY nasty, non-biodegradable diapers when Chloe was in diapers so this solves that problem; they really are better for baby with no chemicals and soft as butter; and they're dang cute -- the diapers *and* the little baby butts in cloth diapers!!

We got our first cloth diaper already from our sweet friends, Chad, Cassie, and Eli (thanks, guys!):

Isn't it adorable? I can't wait to have Lydia's tiny bum in there!!

I think we have decided to have the girls share a room so our spare bedroom can be our school room. Chloe and I are slowly planning out what we want it to look like and I am getting so excited about decorating for Chloe *and* Lydia in the same room! I have some ideas and the only thing set in stone is that it will have lots of PINK!!! ;)

Speaking of Chloe (no, I haven't forgotten about her! hehe)....she has been having a REALLY fun summer and my next post is going to be all about her and what she's been up to lately!

Almost 20 weeks!

(I'm not sure why the pictures are different sizes...sorry about that!)

Apparently being pregnant has made me the world's worst blogger. I feel like I have so much to say and wish I wouldn't have waited so long to update. This pregnancy has been so incredibly different than my pregnancy with Chloe. With Chloe I was so laid-back (and naive, really, which is probably why I had no worries), but this time I've honestly been a nervous wreck. My anxiety has gotten much better over the past few weeks, thankfully.

I was also having a very hard time believing we would really bring a baby home. One day my mom said, "Hey! we'll have a baby for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year...how exciting!" and in my head I said, "hopefully". That thinking really scared me (because I'm typically a very positive thinker) and made me realize how completely in denial I was. I think trying for a baby for so long really messes with your head.

Weeks 8-12 I was extremely sick and was having a very hard time. It was so hard because we have been hoping for this baby for so long and then to feel like I was complaining non-stop was really hard. I had to quickly learn that I'm human and feeling like crap all day long, whether you REALLY want something or not, is just sucky!!

Now, having said all of that about the first part...I have moved into a very happy, realistic view of this pregnancy and am finally so excited and really feeling like this is REAL! I will be 20 weeks on Friday and I can't BELIEVE we almost are half way there! I have been feeling so good lately and am really enjoying this whole thing!!

I started feeling baby (who we're calling Teeny Tiny for now) move about 14 weeks. It wasn't until 18 weeks with Chloe but I guess I just knew what to expect and feel this time. The first movements were very light and sporadic, but about 16 weeks they became very consistent and I now feel Teeny Tiny dancing around in there every day several times a day. The movements now are harder and much easier to "detect". In fact, Justin felt the baby kick -- flip, punch, twirl, whatever it was ;) this past Saturday morning :) I'm still trying to get Chloe to feel it, but she hasn't yet as baby seems to want to run from her every time -- lol...not sure if that's a bad sign or not!

Speaking of Chloe...she is so SO excited about having a new baby. She is going to be such an amazing big sister. She definitely thinks we're having a boy and really does not want a girl. She told me a couple of days ago that "we don't need another girl". Haha. I think she's a little intimidated by the idea of not being the only girl. She says the baby's name will be Cooper. We have no idea where she got the idea for this name, but when she talks to my belly (which she does often and it's so precious I about die every time) she calls "him" Cooper. Even if we have a boy, the name isn't going to be Cooper, but she's quite convinced. Not totally sure how we're going to handle *that* one, but we'll see!!

I have recently had a few conversations with her about how the baby "comes out". Yeah, that's been fun! haha! I'm trying to answer her questions as age-appropriately as possible and only give her the information she needs to satisfy that moments questions. We're slowly figuring it out :)

We're having a home birth with this one and I am *so* excited!! I have wanted to have a home birth since having Chloe. We have a really amazing midwife and while I'm not ready for baby to be here yet I really am looking forward to so many things about having baby here at home. (If you have any questions about our birthing plan PLEASE feel free to ask!!)

We have our 20 week ultrasound tomorrow to make sure baby is healthy and to find out if it's a boy or girl!! I am so excited!! I really have no "feelings" about what sex this baby is, but pretty much 99.9% of everyone else thinks it's a boy. We'll see!!! More than anything I'm just praying for a very healthy baby! Our appointment is at 9am tomorrow.

I've seen these little questionnaires on a few people's blogs. I snagged this one from Alisa (who I affectionately call my twin because we look so much alike!)
__________________________________________
How far along: 19 Weeks - 20 on Friday

Total weight gain/loss: about 8 lbs

Body Changes: I'm mostly belly, but unfortunately pregnancy expands my butt and thighs at a rapid rate of speed...so there's that ;)

Sleep: I've been sleeping pretty well at night. I sneak in naps every once in a while during the day when Chloe naps.

Best moment this week: Justin feeling Teeny Tiny kick!! :)

Gender: We will (hopefully!) find out in the morning!!!

Food Cravings/Aversions: I haven't really had any cravings (I didn't with Chloe either). I had an aversion to pretty much everything at the beginning, but thankfully I really don't have too many anymore. Meat is still not my favorite thing, but it just depends on the day whether I can eat it or not.

What I miss: Summer Beer!

What I am looking forward to: Tomorrow's ultrasound!!!

Milestones: Lots of movement and feeling great!

"Mommy has a baby in her belly...."

When I was pregnant with Chloe I actually found out in the Target bathroom. Classy, I know ;) That was the first pregnancy test I had ever taken. I don't know what I was expecting, really. I do remember that moment like it was yesterday though. I got a positive immediately and did a little happy dance in the stall. I dashed to the back of the store to get some grandma/grandpa bibs, checked out, got in my car and called Justin. He was at work that day, so I asked if I could come have lunch with him. Over Arby's roast beef sandwiches I told him he was going to be a daddy. I will never EVER forget the look on his face. It went from "oh crap" to "awesome" in a matter of .2 seconds. :)

This time was much much different. I definitely knew what to expect this time - a negative test. But when I got that positive it was something totally different. A miracle. I took a moment to just "be" and stare at that positive test. I truly could not believe my eyes.

As I said before, I told my mom and sisters first, but then I told Chloe. At first I had thought I wouldn't tell her so early because "what if something happens"? But then I realized that "something can happen" any moment of your life and I'm the kind of person who likes to cherish every happy second for what it is. So, I told her she was going to be a big sister and *this time* I will never forget her face. Pure excitement. The thought of that moment makes me tear up every time.

I was thinking of a million ways to tell Justin. Put a bun in the oven. Have Chloe wear a big sister shirt. Tell him I couldn't enjoy a glass of wine with dinner. But finally I decided that the best way to tell him was to let Chloe do the honors. And she did.

Chloe and I had been talking about the baby all afternoon and she was so excited to tell her daddy. Justin came home from work and we were in my bathroom getting ready to go to dinner. As Justin was walking upstairs and before he got to our room I told Chloe, "okay! you can tell daddy our secret". He walked into the bathroom and she immediately declared, "Mommy has a baby in her belly and I'm gonna be a big sister!!"

Justin looked at me like, "what is she saying? is this right? huh?" I just smiled huge and nodded my head. He got a huge smile on his face as well and he immediately hugged me and rubbed my belly. It was such a sweet moment.

Fast forward to this week. Justin got home from work on Monday and said, "I got to hold Eli today and he smiled at me!" (Eli is our good friends Chad and Cassie's baby). Later when we were watching TV he told me "holding Eli today made me really ready to have a baby". Now, let me just say that Justin is not an emotional/touchy-feely kind of guy so for him to say that really meant a lot.

I am so excited to see Justin as a daddy of two little ones. He truly is the best daddy in the world. He loves Chloe with reckless abandon. I am so honored to share this life with him.

Encouragement

Kelly Stamps is another blogger and she posted this song today. I was so encouraged. Let the words encourage you as well....



What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Love you,

God's Blessings

This was an email I sent to a few people close to me today, but I thought I would post it here also.
_________________________

So, I've been thinking a lot about God and our journey to have this baby. Often as we were waiting to get pregnant I kept wondering, what does God want to teach me? What am I missing? What have I done that he would withhold this from me? Very slowly I began to learn that He just wanted me to give up control of my life and my desires. I remember sitting at small group at Nathan and Sherri's house one night stating how God was teaching me that He was withholding the very thing from me that I desired most because, well, I desired it more than I desired Him.

It still took me a while to change that mindset and I honestly do not think I did until I started reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. My attitude and heart have changed so much over the past few months just realizing how BLESSED we already are (even without all the things we WANT in our lives). God has given us a million things a day to be thankful for (the cool spring breeze coming through the window, trees blossoming, a child who tells you "My name is Santa Clause and I just like to shake my booty at Christmas parties", DVR'd TV shows, and of course the bigger things in our life like our house, our family, our full pantry). Why do we focus on the negative? The things we don't have? The way we WISH our life was?

My eyes have been opened.

Funny thing is...I was beginning to become perfectly OKAY with God's plan and ideas for our life...even if that meant never having another baby from my womb. I just want more of God and more of what HE wants for my life. I was/am closer to God than I have ever been in my life.

I don't know why he withholds blessings from anyone else, but I *do* know for me it was to teach me to love Him the most and to be THANKFUL for the things He has given me and is giving me.

I asked for prayer this weekend that I would not forget what I have learned. That I would not become complacent now that I *do* have what I have been asking for.

I have struggled with understanding God in all of this and understanding if he really does withhold blessings to teach us something, so I wanted to go to the bible and see what it says. I stumbled across an article about Hannah (who God closed her womb until she gave up control of her life and her child's life...sound familiar??). It said this:

Suddenly, your desperation turns to a decision. It may be a deeper level of commitment or a yielding of an area of besetting sins or a response to an unanswered call or a vow of consecration in an area of your life. You are at a place, spiritually, you would have never reached if God hadn't closed the shut off valve of your blessings and caused your desire to turn into dependence, your dependence into desperation, and finally, your desperation to a time of decision. At this point, the child, the job, the finances, or the marriage are no longer the issue. The will of God is the issue. Now you don't even want the child, unless God does. You don't even want the job, unless God does. He may miraculously give you what you desired, or better still, just give you more of Himself instead. The key is that now He has your undivided attention, and is in the process of changing your life by withholding from your life blessings that you took for granted. So why God withholds from us becomes obvious. It is to get our attention.

Wow!!

...and I will end with that.

WHAT?!?!?

On Friday, March 4th I had woken up just like any other morning. I had some normal pre-menstrual symptoms and knew my period would start the next morning. I have been taking some supplements to try to get pregnant, but they are not safe to take the second half of your cycle. I went ahead and popped a couple of them to "get a head start" on my next cycle that, like I said, I knew would start in the morning.

I had just put Chloe and the daycare kids down for a nap when I started having these weird pains in my inner thighs. In my weirdo mind I thought, "hey, maybe that's a pregnancy symptom". lol. I knew I had a pregnancy test under the bathroom sink so on a whim I took it. Immediately, I saw this:Now, let me explain to you that in 2 1/2 years of trying to have a baby, I have easily taken over 100 pregnancy tests and they ALL have been negative. There was not a QUESTION in my mind that this one would be any different.

My first response: HOLY S*#^! (sorry..it's true!). Second response: Thank you Jesus!! My second response probably should have been my first, but whatever. ;)

I could NOT even believe my eyes. I was in total shock, shaking like crazy, and truly thought I might pass out.

I called my mom. She didn't answer. I called again and again and again...still no answer. I called my best friend, Andrea. No answer!! DANG IT! I NEED TO TAKE ANOTHER TEST! I would have left to get another test myself, but I had other children here. FINALLY my mom called back and was of course wondering if I was okay because I had called and texted about 10 times. I told her I had gotten a positive test and needed to take another one NOW! She was at lunch with my younger sister (who immediately started crying when she heard what was going on) and said they would be right over.

They got here about 15-20 minutes later, I took the second test, and immediately saw this:

Oh my GOSH! I'm really pregnant! I brought the test down to show them. It had only been like 30 seconds and my mom *insisted* we wait the 3 minutes like it said on the box. I had taken enough tests to know it was positive, but I humored her. She set the timer and we waited. After 3 minutes, it was still positive.

We called my youngest sister to bring over some sparkling peach juice my mom had at home. She brought it over and as she walked in the door, handed us the juice and kind of looked like, what in the world is going on? I told her we were "celebrating" and she looked at me and immediately knew! She got tears in her eyes and gave me a big hug.

By this time Chloe was clearly not napping, so I let her get out of bed. She came downstairs, we poured 5 glasses of juice and got ready to toast.

I asked Chloe if she knew why we were "having a cheers?" She said no and I told her that mommy has a baby in her belly! She looked at me with HUGE eyes and a big smile and just immediately kissed and hugged my belly. It was the most precious moment of my entire life. She is so excited and that makes it even more fun for us!

After our toast, my mom and sisters left. I still could not believe this was happening.

Of course, now I needed to tell Justin. Stay tuned...that's for the next post :)



PS. I also have lots of thoughts to share about our infertility (and other women struggling through it as well).