I have always known I wanted to be a mommy. When I was little, in daycare, I would take all of the younger kids under my wing and "mother" them. At 4, "mothering" to me was just basically telling other kids what to do. Man, I was bossy! Anyway...God put something inside of me that sets my heart ablaze when I think about being pregnant, having babies, and raising children. Justin and I only waited about 8 months before we decided we were ready for babies. When I found out I was pregnant with Chloe, I couldn't have been more happy! I actually couldn't even wait long enough to get home to take the pregnancy test, so I took it in the Target bathroom. I'm a dork, I know. I called Justin, who was at work, and asked if I could come by and have lunch with him. Over a gourmet Arby's lunch, I told Justin he was going to be a daddy. I will never forget that moment. We told our parents that same night. It was so exciting.
As with being a mommy, I also knew I wanted to have lots of kids. More than 4. I'm still not sure Justin is on board with me about this. I always thought I would want my children just one right after the other. I never took into account that the first one might fill my heart so full that I would feel like I may not have enough room for any more. For about the first 15 months of Chloe's life I just was not ready to have another baby (something I never ever imagined I would feel). I had so many fears (some of which I still have) about whether I could love the second as much, whether I have enough time in the day to really nurture both of them...and the list goes on.
Chloe is now 20 months and I think I'm ready for the next one. I'm excited to be pregnant again. I'm ready to breastfeed (something I failed miserably at with Chloe). I want to snuggle a tiny little bundle again. I can't wait to see Chloe as a big sister. I finally feel like my excitement outweighs my apprehensions.
So...all that to say: Bring on the baby makin'! ;)
And just for your enjoyment (and because I think this picture is hilarious):