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Apparently being pregnant has made me the world's worst blogger. I feel like I have so much to say and wish I wouldn't have waited so long to update. This pregnancy has been so incredibly different than my pregnancy with Chloe. With Chloe I was so laid-back (and naive, really, which is probably why I had no worries), but this time I've honestly been a nervous wreck. My anxiety has gotten much better over the past few weeks, thankfully.
I was also having a very hard time believing we would really bring a baby home. One day my mom said, "Hey! we'll have a baby for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year...how exciting!" and in my head I said, "hopefully". That thinking really scared me (because I'm typically a very positive thinker) and made me realize how completely in denial I was. I think trying for a baby for so long really messes with your head.
Weeks 8-12 I was extremely sick and was having a very hard time. It was so hard because we have been hoping for this baby for so long and then to feel like I was complaining non-stop was really hard. I had to quickly learn that I'm human and feeling like crap all day long, whether you REALLY want something or not, is just sucky!!
Now, having said all of that about the first part...I have moved into a very happy, realistic view of this pregnancy and am finally so excited and really feeling like this is REAL! I will be 20 weeks on Friday and I can't BELIEVE we almost are half way there! I have been feeling so good lately and am really enjoying this whole thing!!
I started feeling baby (who we're calling Teeny Tiny for now) move about 14 weeks. It wasn't until 18 weeks with Chloe but I guess I just knew what to expect and feel this time. The first movements were very light and sporadic, but about 16 weeks they became very consistent and I now feel Teeny Tiny dancing around in there every day several times a day. The movements now are harder and much easier to "detect". In fact, Justin felt the baby kick -- flip, punch, twirl, whatever it was ;) this past Saturday morning :) I'm still trying to get Chloe to feel it, but she hasn't yet as baby seems to want to run from her every time -- lol...not sure if that's a bad sign or not!
Speaking of Chloe...she is so SO excited about having a new baby. She is going to be such an amazing big sister. She definitely thinks we're having a boy and really does not want a girl. She told me a couple of days ago that "we don't need another girl". Haha. I think she's a little intimidated by the idea of not being the only girl. She says the baby's name will be Cooper. We have no idea where she got the idea for this name, but when she talks to my belly (which she does often and it's so precious I about die every time) she calls "him" Cooper. Even if we have a boy, the name isn't going to be Cooper, but she's quite convinced. Not totally sure how we're going to handle *that* one, but we'll see!!
I have recently had a few conversations with her about how the baby "comes out". Yeah, that's been fun! haha! I'm trying to answer her questions as age-appropriately as possible and only give her the information she needs to satisfy that moments questions. We're slowly figuring it out :)
We're having a home birth with this one and I am *so* excited!! I have wanted to have a home birth since having Chloe. We have a really amazing midwife and while I'm not ready for baby to be here yet I really am looking forward to so many things about having baby here at home. (If you have any questions about our birthing plan PLEASE feel free to ask!!)
We have our 20 week ultrasound tomorrow to make sure baby is healthy and to find out if it's a boy or girl!! I am so excited!! I really have no "feelings" about what sex this baby is, but pretty much 99.9% of everyone else thinks it's a boy. We'll see!!! More than anything I'm just praying for a very healthy baby! Our appointment is at 9am tomorrow.
I've seen these little questionnaires on a few people's blogs. I snagged this one from Alisa (who I affectionately call my twin because we look so much alike!)
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How far along: 19 Weeks - 20 on Friday
Total weight gain/loss: about 8 lbs
Body Changes: I'm mostly belly, but unfortunately pregnancy expands my butt and thighs at a rapid rate of speed...so there's that ;)
Sleep: I've been sleeping pretty well at night. I sneak in naps every once in a while during the day when Chloe naps.
Best moment this week: Justin feeling Teeny Tiny kick!! :)
Gender: We will (hopefully!) find out in the morning!!!
Food Cravings/Aversions: I haven't really had any cravings (I didn't with Chloe either). I had an aversion to pretty much everything at the beginning, but thankfully I really don't have too many anymore. Meat is still not my favorite thing, but it just depends on the day whether I can eat it or not.
What I miss: Summer Beer!
What I am looking forward to: Tomorrow's ultrasound!!!
Milestones: Lots of movement and feeling great!
2 comments:
That's so awesome about having a home birth - did the midwife you've been seeing agree to it? Who will be your doula??
I feel the same way you did, I hope when he starts kicking my feelings of doubt will go away!!! I'm happy your feelings are positive now!! Hope Chloe gets to feel her kick soon!
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