One area of my life that tends to be the easiest for me to fall into this trap is my marriage. I think the reason I do this is because in our almost 4 years of marriage I have relied on Justin to make me happy. I need him to make me feel worthy, to make me feel needed, to make me feel like the most amazing wife and mother in the world. Ha!
Spiritually speaking for quite a while I had oh-so-sweetly demanded that Justin be the leader of our household. He never lived up to my expectations. He wasn't close enough to God, he wasn't reading his bible enough, he wasn't praying enough, so of course I needed to take over! I was obviously the stronger believer and if he wasn't going to do it then move over buddy, I'll take the reigns. I had
Surprisingly, at one point in the very beginning of our marriage (in the middle of my nagging, controlling, non-submissive tirades) I did submit to God's design and the outcome has been incredible.
Justin and I got married the summer after I left MU. While at MU, I attended an amazing church that really showed me what church/community was suppose to look like. Justin had never experienced that with me, so I came back feeling like the super-christian and like I needed to make sure he knew exactly how we were suppose to be living as Believers. I told him that we needed to change churches because the one we attended growing up just wasn't what we needed. He wasn't comfortable leaving and initially I was ticked. He liked the comfort of our childhood church and that even made me more mad. Comfort? Are we suppose to be seeking comfort as Believers?! I thought he was so wrong!! Slowly, and only with God's help, I decided to let Justin make the decision about where we would go to church. All the while secretly waiting for him to realize I was right all along!
We attended our childhood church for about 3 1/2 years. To my surprise, we were growing as a couple and individually as believers. Justin became a stronger, more confident leader in our household. I was slowing allowing God to show me that His way is best.
About 2 months ago, Justin and I decided together that it was time for us to move on to a different church. He was ready to find a place that would allow us to spread our wings a little more and that had more couples our age to connect with. This is what I wanted from the very beginning, but God needed time to work in both of our hearts before He decided it was time for us to move on. We are now attending a church that we both LOVE and are getting to know lots of new awesome friends. God is working to deepen our relationship with Him and with others.
I don't know what would have happened had we changed churches when I wanted to. I think, quite honestly, it could have been disastrous to our spiritual walks as well as our marriage. By giving up control, God has blessed me and our family immensely. By submitting to my husband and allowing God's design to work, our relationships with the Father are stronger than ever and getting stronger every day.
As I have been thinking about this lately, God is really showing me that His ways are best ALL the time. He didn't implement standards to make things worse for us. He has always had our best interests at heart. He wants nothing but the best for us. Why so many times do I allow my flesh to lead and ultimately cause me so much more pain than if I were to just be obedient the first time?
I am trying my very best to submit to God's timing daily in regards to our second child. I know God wants to do what is best for us, so I'm holding tight to that.
Is there something in your life that you need to submit to God? My advice: Just do it!